People ~ Positive & Negative

People come and go from our lives constantly. People are flowing in and out of our lives through the telephone, in person, snail mail, email, instant messenger and numberous other ways. Have you ever wondered why some people connect with you at a time that you seemingly need their kind of energies, experience or knowledge at a specific time in your life and it was a positive connection? Or possibly quiet the opposite. Have you encountered people that from the minute you are introduced to them, no matter when in your life, they just seem to bring with them a negativity to everything?

I have encountered many people in my life from both categories. I have a wonderful circle of support and love from family and friends which enriches my life. These are the people I keep close and share life stories with, experience holidays and special occasions with and the ones I cherish for the people they are and the acceptance of the human I am to them. Then there is the other group of people that have connected with my life that no matter how hard I try to be positive with them, it only leads to a drain of negative events and emotions.

Negative people remind me of HIV and the devastation it causes to the mind and body. Negative people are the ones that are always putting others down for not being as knowledgeable as they may be. They are the ones that are rigid in their thinking and hold on to past hurts and heartaches as if they were tangible items and worth a pot of gold. Negative people are the ones that do not grow in any area of their lives and continue to live in the ruts they created without any motivation to do anything different but want different results. Well, actually, they not only are the negative ones they are also the stupid ones. The list goes on and on as to how I see negative thinking people.

Positive people are the ones that are excited the sun rose that day, grateful for the food they have even if it isn't what they desired at the time. Positive people make things happen, have a cheerful spirit about them and are willing to try something new and have an uplifted attitude while pursuing it. Positive people live with the misfortunes that come their way and make the best of it. This is a small example of how I see positive thinking people.

This is what I am doing with HIV. I could sit around and be negative and feel sorry for myself while dwelling on the side effects of the medications, the shortened lifespan and the other slue of health issues that arise from having a chronic illness. Not to mention the social stigma associated with HIV. I could but I choose not to dwell on the negative. I have taken a stance to make a negative into a positive and that is how I live my life with HIV. I get up every morning and make the choice to have a good attitude, to be grateful, to be productive and to live for the day.

Yesterday one of the negatives from my past tried to creep back into my life. As sad as it is I can not allow this to happen. A part of me would like to reconnect with this person for there was some positive at some of the times throughout the years we were friends. Yet when I reflect back on the overall picture, the nagative scenes flash in my mind and my body reacts with tension. I find myself gritting my teeth and holding the phone with a mighty strength, white knuckled. A simple phone call regarding this person had a negative reaction to my body. I was able to be aware of that and know it was not a good sign and the best thing I could do was not respond to the persons request of my return phone call.

Sometimes we have to love people from a distance. Oh believe me, there is still a fondness for this friend. I do smile when I think of the fun times when we would play backgammon in the park, play cards around the kitchen table, ride around town inmy car chatting, shopping and so forth. But, this friend is not healthy for me and especially now since I have HIV. I do not want to play the games any longer that come along with hanging around a negative person. One negative in my life is enough and I can't distance myself from HIV any further than what I already have. Negative people I can.